Aki and Axel Sparring Scene:P1

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For some good ol' comic practice, I've decided to start comicing one of my favorite scenes from the Fiction RP--Aki and Axel Sparring! This is artistically a great scene to do because of the facial expressions and action poses, besides how incredibly funny it was.

This first page is really kind of an intro that recaps the conversation just before the sparring starts, so you can get a sense of what the mood was beforehand... In a nutshell, Axel had to tell Ari some things she didn't want to hear, and so Ari ran off. Aki expresses some concern and Axel continues on matter-of-factly before changing the subject and starting their 'lesson'. >3 Read the scene below for more details.

Actually, I'm pretty unhappy with this page. XP It turned out so sloppy, and I was being very lazy... The shading looks horrible, (It looks dark out when it's supposed to be a bright, sunny day. I think next time I will shade the trees rather than the background.) And I was being lazy with my paneling. The order actually goes: Top panel, Axel's serious headshot, Ari's angry headshot, Ari running off, Aki's headshot, THEN the big one with Axel and Aki talking, THEN the last two Axel panels where he's speaking. I know, very confusing, but I was bing lazy. XP Deal with it! And I promise I'll try harder with the next page... (And there's tons more stuff I don't like about this page, but I'll just bore you...) PLEASE only give critique if you have some HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS for how I can fix these problems and improve on other pages. XP

Excerpts from the "Fiction RP" by Aki Ameko , Axel_KH277 and anime_lover77 : (Posts have been edited or skipped for display on this page)

(Ari tries to defend her former love, Riku, who was killed by the Organization and is now their puppet. Axel explains how Riku is a threat...)
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Axel_KH277:
Axel listened and watched Ari stand. He, on the other hand, did not move from where he sat. For the moment anyways. "Ari, I appreciate you being honest with me, but really now, did it ever cross your mind that they could be controlling Riku? That they made him try and kill you, and now they're using him to get to you? And to us?" Axel paused, not really knowing why he was saying what he was saying. "I know the general process when it comes to making those beings. They had to implant something from the original Riku to create him in the first place Ari." Axel now stood up and stared at Ari. His expression was stern, but not harsh. "That puppet you seem to have some sort of feelings for may very well harbor the soul of your dead lover. And if that's true, though his body is not originally his, if he had a strong will before he was killed, then locked away in his mind are all his old memories. All of his old memories...." Axel watched the vampire for a moment before sighing. "Do what you will Ari. But be sure to think about all angles before you act." he said, then smiled and turnned to Aki. "Well, are you up to sparing Missy? We can wait a little longer if you like." he said, leaning over slightly and looking down at the witch.
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anime_lover77:
"............" Ari didn't know what to say to Axel. After hearing his words, Ari turnned from the two and ran off into the woods. Her fists clenched tightly, her whole body twitching from anger, sadness, loneliness.... 'How DARE he spout something like that at me?!' she thought angerly to herself. Ari didn't realize how fast she was running, and unknowingly she had kicked into her vampire speed. Landmarks flew by as colorful blurs, but Ari didnt care. She was also clenching her fists so tight her hands were now dripping with her own blood. The speed, her wounds on her hands, it all didn't matter to her at the moment. She just felt like running, getting away from it all. And so she did.
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Aki Ameko:
"Ari, WAIT!!" Aki called after her, but to no avail--the vampire was already long gone. Aki had listened to Axel's words with a mournful stare, but blushed again when he asked about the sparring. "Well, I, uh... I suppose we could rest for a bit longer..." She said. You're only stalling, you know... Said a voice in her head. 'Silence you! I'll do as I please!' Came an opposing voice. She nodded her head to herself as if it settled the matter.

Trying to pretend that she wasn't nervous, Aki turned to Axel for a change of topic. "Did you have to be so harsh? I think what you said really got to her..." She glared at Axel for a moment, but her expression softened as she stared off in the direction that Ari had left. She turned back to Axel. "Is that all really true? About his memories...and such..."
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Axel_KH277:
Axel turnned and watched Ari as she ran off. He knew what he said would probably upset her, but it had to be said. He sat himself down next to Aki and started pulling up grass out of boredom. He thought to himself for a moment before answering her. "I didn't mean it to be harsh, but what I said was true." He stopped pulling at the grass and leaned himself back, using his arms to brace himself. "To create a puppet like Riku you have to have something from the original. Usually Xemnas just uses the dna that's been collected to create one. But for special cases, he'll have his people dig through the dna to find traces of the original's soul." Axel paused for a moment, looking down at the ground as he continued. "And if the original passes on but had an exceptionally strong will, that trace in the dna can serve as a link, or tether, to this world for the soul." Axel sighed, thinking about it all. "My guess is that that's what Xemnas did to the Riku puppet. A puppet with the original's soul is a lot more powerful then a soulless one. Though a soulless one is easier to control, Xemnas always did prefer power when it came to that sort of thing. He always had enough resources that if one were to turn on him, well...." Axel didn't finish, knowing Aki would get the idea. Axel had to laugh at himself. "But anyways, yeah. If I'm right, then locked away in Riku's mind are all his original memories." Axel looked over at Aki and smiled. "Well, enough chit-chat. I say it's about that time!" he said cheerfully, standing up and holding out a hand to help Aki up. "Ready to start your lesson Missy? The day ain't gettin' any longer!" he said, smiling happily at the witch.
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To be continued!

Axel (C) SquareEnix